Grow Where You Are Planted

By Angelica Tran

Back in March, I was shopping online for a new work notebook since I’d left mine in the office and had started working from home. I came across a notebook with a picture of a succulent and the words “Grow Where You Are Planted” on the cover. While the notebook wasn’t my style, the quote on the cover resonated with me deeply. Such a simple phrase seemed to be exactly what I needed to read at that moment. It was very similar to when I was procrastinating on my master’s thesis, and the fortune cookie that I had opened during my rather long lunch break said “Time to get some real work done.” Ouch.

Concerned about possibly taking life advice from a notebook, I decided to find out where the phrase “grow where you are planted” came from. This expression and similar ideas such as “bloom where you are planted” have been quoted and paraphrased in numerous places. It has been credited to a 16th century bishop, and has even been attributed to the Bible. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t come across it before, and was quickly convinced of its relevance to my life.

As a type-A go-getter, I am a huge planner, checklist creator, itinerary idolizer, etc., so it was to my disappointment that many of my “plans” for 2020 (and possibly beyond) had indeed been foiled due to the unexpected pandemic crisis. For instance:

Work plans: I started searching for higher skilled and higher paying jobs at the beginning of 2020. Worst case, I would try to work hard on getting a promotion at my current job. At 29, I was really going to focus on getting my career together this year...

Reality: Due to the financial crisis, there’ll be no promotions or salary increases for at least the next fiscal year at my organization. In fact, I might get furloughed or laid off since the arts are suffering due to the extreme loss of revenue. Finding the perfect new job would be very challenging since the options would be more limited.

Moving plans: Anyone who knows me knows that I am not fully sold on living in New York City. As part of the job search, I was looking forward to the idea of my husband and I relocating in the next few years.

Reality: Traveling to different cities to explore where we might want to live and finding suitable jobs in our industries on the other end would be even more difficult than during normal times.

Relationship plans: Knowing that I was going to be a first-time aunt in May, I was looking forward to spending more time in Florida with family. I also wanted to get out more, and make a greater effort to see my friends face to face.

Reality: I haven’t flown down to Florida all year, and do not plan to any time soon. Also, it’s hard to spend time with friends and make new ones when there is social distancing and nowhere to really spend time.

These are just a few examples of situations in my life where I felt my growth was being stunted. “Grow where you are planted” became the perfect mantra for me as I started adjusting to my new reality. I could almost visualize myself as the plant. Plants do not decide where they are planted. They do however, figure out how to make the best of where they are, and try to be their most healthy and vibrant selves—or at least just stay alive until the elements get to them. Overall, they do a pretty excellent job of growing where they are planted.

In true Imperfectly Phenomenal Woman style, I’ve had to reframe my own expectations for myself given the events of this year. I’ve had to shift the negative narrative from “I am stuck,” “I am behind where I should be right now,” “I am wasting my time,”, etc. and really figure out how to accept my circumstances as they are, and grow. Admittedly, this has not been an easy task for me, and practicing self-compassion, gratitude, patience, and optimism takes practice for me. Nevertheless, I have been able to measure my growth not by what I have accomplished, or milestones that I have hit, but by the perspective that I have gained from being cemented in my situation.

Instead of being so concerned about climbing up the career ladder, I am thankful to still have a job. If were to lose my job, I am pretty certain that my priority would be to find a job instead of worrying about not having the perfect job.

Surprisingly, being locked down in NYC has actually made me like the city more than I had before. Instead of thinking so much about where else I would rather live, I look forward to being able to do the things that I really enjoyed doing in the city once everything gets back to “normal,” and am excited for new experiences.

In all honestly, not having a chance to meet my now 3-month-old nephew in person is extremely disappointing. But now I truly appreciate my family even more knowing that the time that we do get to spend together is extremely valuable, and shouldn’t be taken for granted.

This year has reminded me that things do not always go the way we plan in life, but that I owe it to myself to try to turn setbacks into growth opportunities. If you feel stuck due to the unwelcome pause that many of our lives have been put on, hang in there! Consider this:

Plant some new seeds: Redefine what success and achievement mean for your life as it is now—not what it would have meant for the life that you “could” or “should” have had if 2020 had shaped up differently.

Get some water and sunlight: Focus on the new ways that you might be able to grow in different aspects of your life, which will help you to accept and reframe some of the unexpected obstacles and changes.

Expect some cloudy, windy, and stormy weather: Give yourself the space sometimes to vent, to feel afraid or uncertain, and to recover. Take heart in the fact that it can’t rain forever!

Finally, remember that it is okay to ask for help and support along the way—even the best plants might need some Miracle-Gro every once in a while!