Symbiosis: Savoring the Moment While Remaining Ambitious
By Alex McCargo
A lot of the drive, motivation and ambition that allowed me to get to the leadership position I’m in today was cultivated and grew in childhood. I took the standard, “idealistic” trajectory, I was a very good student, that went to a good college #WahooWa, got a great job, went to B-School, started my own company and things have been flourishing and manifesting since. However, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized I wasn’t living in the moment and cherishing the present. Instead, I was living for the next 5 years, next goal and always looking towards the future. I also feel I must clarify, living for the moment and enjoying my twenties didn’t mean that I suddenly had this urge to go out to clubs and party. Those activities don’t excite me, and it’s important that the activities that I sought out to enjoy myself were ones that truly inspired me. This being said, I vowed to take the time to enjoy myself and participate in activities that bring me joy such as traveling, going to comedy shows, hiking, doing yoga and reading for pleasure. Taking time out of my schedule to do those things, and really unplug took a lot of practice and has been a continuous battle that I frankly probably wasn’t winning until COVID sat me down and forced me to really reevaluate.
Pre-COVID I’d always talked about taking a second and realigning my goals and finding some more “balance” in my life. I put the word balance in quotations because I don’t believe that balance is ever really achieved, but instead the goal should be to achieve symbiosis between what you’re working towards achieving and what you’re currently enjoying. In the last couple of months I’ve taken an internal inventory and have realized that many of the myths I’d been operating within weren’t true. COVID has shown us that a person doesn’t have to be in the office to be productive, you can maintain close relationships with people without physically seeing them, you can even build new substantive relationships during a pandemic. With many of our initial beliefs about how we relate to the world around us turned upside down I urge others to examine what changes they may be able to make that they thought previously impossible to achieve symbiosis.
You don’t need to go without or feel incomplete to be ambitious.
I’ve always taken pride in my tenacity, for having a bit of a chip on my shoulder and grit when approaching a challenge. This way of thinking while it helped me persevere and push forward during adversity it was also a roadblock to realizing that you can truly be both incredibly ambitious and motivated to excel while simultaneously basking in the fulfillment of the present. Oftentimes the stories of successful people begin with all of the various misfortunes they’ve overcome to get to where they are today, then pivot to revel in their current success and typically linger on all of the various things that their current success afford them. I’d like to challenge this story and insert the ability to savor the fruits of your labor while you’re still laboring. We should normalize working hard and playing just as hard as an adult. While remaining to be responsible, we don’t need to wait until we retire to take that trip or to learn that new skill. We can do it now and by doing it now we can limit the probability of burnout and other symptoms of persistent stress and anxiety.
A few different mechanisms I use during COVID that help me maintain symbiosis. However, I intend to continue these practices even when the world achieves a better sense or normalcy:
Set-aside time out of my schedule everyday for lunch
Spend at least one hour outside per day
Set aside time one day during the week where I try to finish work a bit early
(Still) keep one day of the week completely free from work (for me, this day is Saturday).
Taking time off to completely unplug and recharge even if it’s just for a socially-distanced “staycation”
Set boundaries within the day for when you will work and when you will enjoy yourself even from a granular, day-to-day perspective
The above are just some ways that I make sure I have the additional headspace and time to focus on activities that are not work related. Through the changes and reduced stress levels I’ve experienced since beginning this adjustment I can assert that I stand planted in the belief that I can strive forward and make progress on my goals while remaining fulfilled.
Listen to Alex’s episode, CEO: You Can(‘t) Lead At Your Age, on Imperfectly Phenomenal Woman podcast.